Telling children about their parents' divorce is a sensitive and challenging conversation. At Solutions & Resolutions our mediators are experienced at broaching delicate subjects with care so that all parties can cope and move on as smoothly as possible. Which is why we want to share some of our expertise with you here today in hopes that it will help you in the event that you have to have this difficult conversation with your children.
If possible, both parents should plan the conversation together. This demonstrates unity and avoids putting the child or children in the middle.
Find a quiet, comfortable, and private space where you won't be interrupted. Pick a time when the child is relaxed and not rushed.
Use age-appropriate language to explain the situation. Keep it simple and straightforward. Tell them that Mom and Dad are getting a divorce because they can't live together anymore but emphasize that it's not the child's fault.
Reassure your child that both parents love them and that love for them will never change. Let them know that you will both continue to be involved in their lives.
Be prepared for a range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, confusion, and fear. Let your child express their feelings without judgment.
Encourage your child to share their thoughts and feelings. Be an active listener and validate their emotions. Avoid minimizing or dismissing their concerns.
Avoid blaming each other or discussing the details of the divorce in front of the child. Focus on the impact and changes without assigning blame.
Explain the immediate changes, such as where the child will live and visitation schedules. Offer a sense of stability and routine in their daily life.
Let your child know that they can talk to both parents about their feelings at any time. Encourage questions and be patient with their need for information.
It's best not to surprise your child with this news. If possible, both parents should be present for the conversation.
Stick to familiar routines and activities as much as possible. Consistency can provide a sense of security during a period of change.
Remember that each child is unique, and their reaction to the news of divorce may vary. Some children may have immediate emotional reactions, while others may take time to process the information. Be patient, loving, and supportive as your child adjusts to this major life change. And contact our team if you need help meditating your divorce is a beneficial way.
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